“You are going to be a prayer warrior one day.” This is what my late Uncle Johnny would tell me. I wanted it to be true, but that is as far as it went. Laziness, false idols and a lack of love for my Lord concluded in about 8 years of lukewarm Christianity in my life. This involved, at most, five minutes of prayer a day. This led to an obvious lack of confidence in my walk. This problem came out at my unwillingness for public prayer. My eyes were blinded to the real purpose of prayer by fancy words and showy performances. I was told that prayer was just communicating with God, but in never sunk in.
The few months prior to Kenya was the lowest point I’ve had in awhile. My eyes were focused on the hurt of the past and not on the love of my Savior. My prayer life was non-existent. I put on a good show trying to make people think I was a good Christian. To tell you the truth, I was afraid to go on this trip. The few times I did talk to God, I asked him not to have me go. I was too weak. How could I do any good? But he pushed me on that plane.
As always, God knew what he was doing. At training camp I was on my knees, finding both grace and forgiveness at the feet of Jesus. It was beautiful. I started to pray again and found a deep love for quiet time (we daily receive it here). I began to truly seek after God.
Throughout this trip to Kenya, I have experienced many things, but most of all, I have experienced God. I am finding out what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have found that the most important aspect in any relationship is communication and the same applies. Prayer is simply that.
I have been in a few relationships in the past and I was enraptured in them. I desired to hear their voice and to spend time with them. Through reflection, I realized why I had such a hard time praying before, I simply was not in love with my God.
Today as I write this blog I can honestly say I am in love with my Savior. My life has been transformed including my prayer life. Recently, I have been setting aside quality time with God. Through that, I have found a deep love for prayer. I have found myself talking to God for hours! I just get lost in it. It has been such a freeing experience. And it’s only by His grace I can do this. I mean me waking up early! That’s God.
In the past week, He has really spoken to me the importance and power of prayer. He has also been showing more of His heart to me daily. That he sees me as a lover does. He does not have to talk to me, he desires to. I know that prayer is going to be a huge part of my life. I am just so excited to continue to further my relationship with my God.
