These words do not ring more true for me then on this trip. From day three when I gave my life to Christ for the final time, freedom has been all over my lips and a part of my soul. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to be able to say that I am a pure, holy, and blameless child of God. I am his beloved, he has sought after me, and in him I find the freedom I have always been searching for.
On Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009, one of the greatest experiences of my life took place in Mombasa, Kenya. Under the sunset I, along with 3 others, was baptized in the Indian Ocean. Though I know that it is only a public display of a spiritual action, the feeling of diving below the waves a sinner and resurfacing a pure child of God is amazing. That cleansing symbolism is so beautiful to me, and to know that my team witnessed that and seek to be my accountability brings great comfort to me.
This experience will forever go down as one of the greatest moments in my spiritual journey. And I will no longer be burdened by a yoke of slavery because my Jesus died and rose again for me, and praise God...I have joined him!
Well the Kenyans weren't lying when they told us that Garissa would be a hot one! We just arrived back in Nairobi after a week and a half trip to Garissa and Mombasa. The weather was hot and the work was hard. We spent 4 days clearing bush for a future well, and digging a hole for a temporary water tank. Everyone came home very sweaty, stinky, and tired.
Sadly, the afternoons didn't bring us much relief. The temperature didn't break until around 4 or 5 in the evening. But when it did, it was a welcome feeling! We spent the afternoons napping and playing cards. One evening Paige, Traci, Laura, Amanda, and I laughed till our bellies hurt and tears were streaming from our eyes playing the Haha game
.
Though we had no showers, slept on concrete (that is till we moved out and slept under the stars), and baked in the sun, we had an amazing time. When the people of Hamaris thanked us for everything it was like a scene out of the movies. All of us were sitting in a circle, under an African tree, getting thanks from people who didn't even think that wazungu (white people) had the capabilities of working so hard. With the help of three translators (Arabic, Kiswahili, and English) we communicated our thanks for their welcome, and they communicated their thanks for the well needed water. They thanked us by giving us two goats, sharing camal milk chai with us, and shaking hands. It was a wonderful experience.
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Matthew 22:37-40
Recently God has really confirmed the truth of this verse to me. I have become convinced that the only thing I am called to do is to love God and love others as myself. Anything outside of that is useless. Rubish.
But love is such a broad word. I never knew a four letter word could pack such a punch. Just reading through 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) will give you only a small glimpse of what it really is. However, the past couple weeks God has really been teaching me one of the branches of this thing He calls love. In 1 Cor. 13:7 it says that love always trusts. Now, I know what trust is... it's putting confidence in something or someone. But what does trust really look like in action? What does it mean to trust God with your whole heart, mind and soul?
Now, the Bible constantly tells us who God is. It says He is love, eternal, life-giving, creator, in-control, relational, jealous, just, merciful, and holy. And those are just a few words to describe an indescribable God. Now what happens when we really believe those things are true? I'm not talking about just recognizing that those are some of God's characteristics but actually being convinced of them. For instance, if God really is who He says He is then who am I to ever worry or complain about my circumstances... For God says that He is capable of using even the bad in our lives for the good. For God says that He is in control and knows what He is doing.
Why don't I trust Him? I mean, if we can accept that Jesus died and rose again for us what makes it hard to accept that God is capable of deciding what we need and when we need it? Why can't we trust Him? Is it a pride issue? Is it a control issue? Are we just to lazy to put any thought into it? Or maybe we think that we can plan our lives better than the very One who created us for a purpose? I know God is good. I know God is in control. I know God knows better than me. So why not get on board of the plan He has for my life?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil."
Every morning I go out and sit in the side yard of our compound. I sit in the grass and look at the beauty around me. Today God really shone through this time. He spoke to me and made me realize my purpose in life. I always knew it in my head, but never my heart. Here is my journal entry for this morning...
Everything on this earth: trees, waves, birds, flowers, rain, sky, ocean, ect, their sole purpose is to show God's glory. They shout of God's beauty and soverignty. As I sit here, looking at His splendor, I think it finally has sunk in. They HAVE to shout of God's love and beauty. Just like the rest of the earth, our sole purpose is to glorify our Creator. His purpose is not to be rich or famous. All my life, I felt like my purpose was to be a wife and a mom. This belief was wrong. That is no purpose at all. God might choose to work through those things, but titles and even relationships alone are not purpose. Truth is that if you aren't glorifying God, then you aren't fulfilling your purpose here on earth.
You make everything glorious
And I am yours
What does that make me?
-David Crowder Band
In Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, he talks about our original glory before the fall of man. That our glory was more beautiful than anything that has ever taken away your breath in nature. We were the crown of Creation. We were made in the image of our Creator. We were more beautiful than a sunset! We sung of God's glory everywhere, but then sin came and chipped away at that glory. Throughout the ages we get farther and farther from it. Another truth is that once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior, I believe that we get that beauty back. I believe with all my heart that God looks as me (man) as the most beautiful thing in creation. And even when I still sin or run after idols, he sticks by my side and longs for me. Sunsets are not enough for Him. He desires us. He desires me. That alone wants me to shout His praise! Why don't I start glorifying Him with my life and fufill the purpose He has for me. I don't have to fear for the things of this life. I don't have to worry about where I am supposed to go. If I am glorifying Him, then I'm going on the right path and He will never lead us astray.
With the recent election finished and the day of Obama's reign as president begun, a very interesting point was brought up to me. Obama is everywhere! You would not believe how much we hear about him over here. His face is plastered on calendars, magazines, newspapers, and even dress fabric. In the history of American presidents, have we ever seen anything like this? Now I'm not one to discuss politics, I am not really qualified, but it got me thinking about another "icon". Jesus Christ!
Can you imagine living in the time of Christ. We like to say that it would be so incredible to see this man come to Earth and do all these amazing things, but lets think about this a bit. Christ coming to Earth today would blow our minds. Especially the minds of the American church. We have become accustomed to the pew. We have become, as Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon authors of "Starving Jesus" say "Born Again Lazy." Now I can sit here and point a finger, but 3 more would be pointing right back at me, because I have been there.
Church is a safe place. It has become so comfortable, in fact, that we face a bit of a deliema. If Christ were to come today, would we find him in the church, or would we see him out in the world. Now this is not a call to everyone to find some world mission organization and get out there, perhaps for some of you it is, but what this is truely about is discipleship.
Discipleship as defined in the TNIV Bible is "Following the lifestlyle outline by Jesus." So then I decided to look up the definition of Christian. In another study bible, I found that the term Christian means follower of Christ, which is the definition of discipleship. But in the TNIV there is no definition, but only a statement: "The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch."
So the lifestyle they were living, living and breathing the gospel, preaching it to the world, sacrificing their livelihood for Christ, people saw that and called it Christianity. So my question for you is this, are you living a life of discipleship? The disciples were ordinary guys who didn't know much but did one very important thing. They dropped everything at a moments notice and followed Christ. Let this be a challenge to you! Get out and do what Christ commanded. And it doesn't mean you have to go to Africa. Perhaps your crop that needs to be harvested is right next door. Open your eyes to the world, see them through Gods eyes, and do as he would have you do! Take that first step of faith and be a true disciple...God will reward you with blessings!
"You are going to be a prayer warrior one day." This is what my late Uncle Johnny would tell me. I wanted it to be true, but that is as far as it went. Laziness, false idols and a lack of love for my Lord concluded in about 8 years of lukewarm Christianity in my life. This involved, at most, five minutes of prayer a day. This led to an obvious lack of confidence in my walk. This problem came out at my unwillingness for public prayer. My eyes were blinded to the real purpose of prayer by fancy words and showy performances. I was told that prayer was just communicating with God, but in never sunk in.
The few months prior to Kenya was the lowest point I've had in awhile. My eyes were focused on the hurt of the past and not on the love of my Savior. My prayer life was non-existent. I put on a good show trying to make people think I was a good Christian. To tell you the truth, I was afraid to go on this trip. The few times I did talk to God, I asked him not to have me go. I was too weak. How could I do any good? But he pushed me on that plane.
As always, God knew what he was doing. At training camp I was on my knees, finding both grace and forgiveness at the feet of Jesus. It was beautiful. I started to pray again and found a deep love for quiet time (we daily receive it here). I began to truly seek after God.
Throughout this trip to Kenya, I have experienced many things, but most of all, I have experienced God. I am finding out what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have found that the most important aspect in any relationship is communication and the same applies. Prayer is simply that.
I have been in a few relationships in the past and I was enraptured in them. I desired to hear their voice and to spend time with them. Through reflection, I realized why I had such a hard time praying before, I simply was not in love with my God.
Today as I write this blog I can honestly say I am in love with my Savior. My life has been transformed including my prayer life. Recently, I have been setting aside quality time with God. Through that, I have found a deep love for prayer. I have found myself talking to God for hours! I just get lost in it. It has been such a freeing experience. And it's only by His grace I can do this. I mean me waking up early! That's God.
In the past week, He has really spoken to me the importance and power of prayer. He has also been showing more of His heart to me daily. That he sees me as a lover does. He does not have to talk to me, he desires to. I know that prayer is going to be a huge part of my life. I am just so excited to continue to further my relationship with my God.
Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of Valentines Day. I think it's ironic that on that day of love more people feel unloved than any other day of the year. In so many cases it's a day of forced feelings and gifts given out of obligation. I find it's fake. A huge part of all these wonderfully bitter feelings I feel towards this day may have something to do with the fact that I've never had a significant other or been someone's significant other. But now that I'm married my eyes have been opened to a whole different side of this coin. Yes Mom, you read that right. I am now married. Just thought I would let you know. Believe it or not, you actually helped arrange this marriage.
You see this guy has always been a good friend of our family's. You introduced us to each other when I was really young. So I've known who he is for a very long time. You talked a lot about him and how good he was but I guess a part of me kinda thought that all that you were saying was too good to be true. But this guy has actually been pursuing me.
The day before Valentines Day he sent me a message through one of the leaders on this trip telling me that he's noticed me. He's seen my quiet submissive attitude and has noticed all the behind the scenes things I do. He's noticed me and says that I'm his priced possession!
Although a lot of what I know about him has been things I've been told and not yet experienced I am willing to give this guy a chance. I don't know if any of you has ever fallen in love and can relate but I feel like I'm being drawn to him... like I can't not spend the rest of my life with him.
I've been told that arranged marriages have a better chance of not ending in divorce than other marriages so I'm excited about my marriage because my parents basically arranged it, he pursued me and I was left to decide whether I would commit to this thing or not. So now that I'm ready to settle down and commit to someone I've decided that he'll be the one.
Like any other arranged marriage, it's been a little scary committing myself to an unknown but let me tell you... it's been the best choice I've ever made. Little by little he's been proving to me that he is as good of a guy as my parents have said he was. I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life getting to know him and learning to love him.
I guess at this point you may be wondering whom this prince in shining armor is... or perhaps you've already caught on. What I've been talking about here is the way I view my relationship with God. I've made a commitment to be with Him for the rest of my life... even though I don't fully know Him yet. And I feel as though a relationship with Him was inevitable. So now I'm at the point where I'm trying to be faithful to my Husband and communicating with Him so we are making decisions together... not just acknowledging each others existence but actually living in each others existence.
So week one of ministry is officially over, and boy are we fully immersed in God's work now! Things have been amazing, and I wanted to share some of my experiences with you. For this blog I will focus on the boys of the detention center.
The the detention center is a center for street boys. These boys are picked up off of the streets, from various backgrounds, and are brought to this "center" to wait. I want to tell you some of their stories. Their stories need to be told!
Calvin:
Calvin comes from an abusive home. His stepfather beat him, and he ran away. He was caught on the streets by the city council and brought to the detention center. He tells us that the food there is bad, maze flour and beans almost ever day. He tells us that sometimes they don't eat at all. Those that watch him, the soldiers and the social workers, can be good or bad. It is hit or miss with them. Some of them beat them, others are kind.
Calvin, ran away Tuesday. After we had met with the boys, him and four others found a way out and ran. Friday we watched the rest of the boys with careful eyes. We don't want to lose any more. We don't want to lose the oppurtunity to work with them.
Banton:
Banton ran away from home not long ago and was caught on the streets sniffing glue. He was brought to the detention center and has only been there a month. When he talks to our translator about his past, the sadness in his eyes breaks my heart. He wants to see his mother again. He misses home.
Ian:
Ian is a new boy to the detention center. He has been their a little over a week. His mother brought him to Nairobi, and as they were walking around, she says to him: "Stay here, I will be right back." She never came back. Ian is just 8 years old.
He has had some schooling, but doesn't know basic math facts, his ABC's, or much English. We wanted to do some evaluating of his and the rest of the boys educational background, so I tested him on some basic skills. You should have seen the joy in his face when I gave him a big thumbs up and a high five for his correct answer to 1 + 1.
These boys miss home. These boys want to go to school badly. These boys need love more then anything else. We are going to start a tutoring program in the center, and we are so excited to begin. The thought of bringing an education to them brings both them and our team the greatest amounts of joy.
Pray for God's Boys! They need his love and encouragement. It will be the only love that will sustain them while we are here and once we are gone.
Hey guys. I know there are quite a few of you reading this. I wanted to through out a link to my own blog. I use my World Race blog for updates, but if you'd like to hear what's going on from my point of view, feel free to stop by.
At training camp, one of our speakers urged us to write a five senses post. We were to take in the world around us in the five senses. Here is my five senses for the Kibera Slums
I see...
Homes made of sticks, mud, and metal.
Trash EVERYWHERE!
Canals of water streaming down each path we take.
The most beautiful children in the world!
Women braiding hair.
Men hauling meat in a big white truck.
Dogs that are too thin
Lots of fruit and vegetables for sale
A "river" full of trash, human waste, and everything that doesn't belong in a river
Little boys schooling our Team at soccer tricks
I smell...
A mixture of garbage and human waste
Sometimes a hint of delicious smelling food when we walk past resturants or bars
I taste...
A dry mouth, it is hot and I am always very thirsty
I feel...
Heat, though luckily there was overcast today
Tired, we walked a lot
Hungry...peanut butter on toast is just not enough to sustain. But at least I can say I HAD breakfast.
The rough roads beneath my feet. They are narrow and very bumpy.
The hands of the very kind men on our team as they help us over the river and through steep areas in the paths. How sweet is that! What Gentlemen!
I hear...
A large chorus of "How are you? How are you?" from all the children. (You were right Kayla)
A train in the distance, it goes right outside of Kibera
Our team cook and Kibera tour guide, Reagan, telling all about this place he calls home
The clash of metal as Ben, one of our team mates, hits his head on an overhead door frame. Kibera is for short people, no one over 5'7 Ben remarks. I fit right in! ;o)
An occasional muffled radio as we walk pass the mud housing.
I hope you got a sense of what we are feeling here. I can't wait to start ministering to these people. I can't wait to be so filled with the glory of God that we can't help but radiate to all the world!
